Brand New

Hey, thanks for stopping by our 3rd Grade Science Project. If you are wondering if it is actually a science project for third graders you might be a little retarded....but hey that's ok, because we don't discriminate. What actually makes us different that your third grade science project is that your dad won't be helping us.

Anyway, we will be writing about various topics, such as sports, politics, women, technology, and just about any other random thing we can cram in here. Basically it's societal observation, but who's counting?

Our goal is to be slightly less entertaining than Moe Sizlack


I'll leave you with the first thing we ever collaborated on, some facts about our mutual buddy Curt


Facts about Curt, supreme leader of the universe and the reason women have vaginas.



1) Every time curt masturbates 30 women come as well.

2) Curt doesn't have pick up lines, or does he need them, he just blinks.

3) Curt doesn't need blankets to keep warm; he has enough freshman girls.

4) Only mentioning Curt's name will make every girl in a 10-mile radius remove her clothing.

5) Curt once won an award for amount of pussy, but it was retract once it was discovered he didn't have any cats.

6) If you are foolish enough to challenge him, Curt will have sex with your girlfriend, mother, sister and any combination of friend’s mothers or sisters that you have before you finish speaking.

7) Curt’s name isn't even Curt, it's King Curtis of all people who walk the earth, but curt is modest.

8) Everything Yoda knows he learned from Curt...except his poor grammar.

9) At Christmas time Curt stands naked upon the roof of the first mini cooper he sees and challenges Zeus to a game of scattergories and he always wins.

10) God and Curt once made a bet for the souls of all mankind, Curt won, he still hasn't decided what to do with all the souls.

11) Curt invented the Mullet.

12) If you don't know where your girlfriend is, she is at Curt's

13) Curt is so secure in his manhood that he wears the color pink without fear and if you make fun of him for it he will fuck your girlfriend and his friends will kick your ass.

14) Curt's Firebird runs on pheromones and broken hearts.

15) Curt can speak 276 different languages including unicorn and he can make them all sounds oh so sexy.

16) God was Curt's 3rd grade science project.

17) Curt once had a threesome with the Virgin Mary and the Tooth Fairy.

18) When a tree falls down in the woods and no one is there to hear it curt hears it.

19) Curt read my history textbook in .0025 seconds.

20) Curt is google and google is Curt.

21) Fool Curt once, shame on you: fool him twice; he will use your spine as dental floss.

22) Everything tastes like chicken cause curt told us so.

23) Curt Invented STD's to knock us down a few pegs.

24) Switzerland maintains its' neutral status mostly to prevent Curt from kicking the entire population's ass.

25) Earthquakes are caused by Curt and Chuck Norris battling underneath the earth's crust.



The Second Coming Of Curt: He has made you come 10 times if you are a female age 18 – 35


1) Curt Plays Laser Tag with John Wilkes Booth and Surhan Surhan every other Saturday

2) Curt has all the number 1 pencils

3) Curt, Thank you for cheerleaders

4) Curt is buried in Grants tomb

5) Curt is currently in 1st place in the AL East

6) Jesus is Curt’s stunt double

7) The movie Fight Club was a documentary of Curt’s life shot in real time (tone down a little)

8) Curt was the original composer of the Super Mario Bros. Soundtrack

9) Then end result of Project Mayham was Curt.

10) Curt is Up, Down, Left, Right, A, B, A, B, Select, Left, Right in Nintendo

11) A Stripper is in Love with Curt

12) A squared + B squared = Curt, Look it up

13) Ashton Kutcher once tried to punk Curt, what followed is what can be called Ashton Kutcher’s career.

14) Curt is the antidote for yellow fever

15) Curt left home without his American Express card

16) Curt Saved Private Ryan

17) Curt has an honorary seat at the UN Council…and that makes china nervous

18) Curt’s penis has a Hemi

19) If Curt was in Iowa, there would be more corn

No Worries

Electric Turbo