3rd Grade Science Project

Five Sports Stars I'd Like to Drink With

2008-05-23T18:45:00.000-07:00

Just a list of the sports stars I'd most like to drink with and why. Why? For no particular reason, that's why. Also, I'm going in reverse order the was it should be.

5) Matt Leinart (QB-Arizona Cardinals): The reason I put Leinart here is largely because all the pictures of him partying during the offseason reminds me of high school with all the board shorts and beer bongs. Only at his party I would be next to Kristin Cavillari in the hot tub instead of in second hour English.

4) Dirk Nowitski (PF-Dallas Mavericks): This is just out of hope that this seven-foot kraut can down his share of beer and sausages, along with some good German drinking songs.

3) Shaquille O'Neal (C-Pheonix Suns): How could you not love the Big Aristotle? You know that you're going to get the most expensive booze in the place, and you would surely get noticed. But also Shaq seems to me like a deep and interesting man who might have some good insights on things outside of sports.

2) Derek Jeter (SS-New York Yankees): He's loved in the sports world, popular with the ladies, and resides in the true city of the world. What else is there?

1) Brett Favre: I'll just say this; Favre seems like the guy where when you go ice fishing for the day he brings 3 cases of beer, and then you bring up the fact that there are only two of you and he would just smile and say, "We'll get through it."

Lak

Let Them Gallop!

2008-05-17T13:03:00.000-07:00

I cannot predict the future. Yes, that may disappoint you, but I am unable to tell you how Kentucky Derby winner Big Brown will do in today's Preakness. But this I am certain of, barring catastrophe, in one year Big Brown will be servicing mares in a breeding shed for $100,000 a date, the amount paid by breeders hoping that he will pass on his speed to the next generation of foals.

Let's say Big Brown goes on to win the Triple Crown. That would mean he would probably retire to stud after a mere six races. It was once unthinkable to let a horse that inexperience near a mare. A former breeder said in a recent NY Times article that his policy was that the horse had to had at least 25 starts. Now, buyers at yearling sales are no longer interested in durability. They are looking for the payday at the end and buy horses that mature quickly, win the Derby, and allow them to cash in on stud fees. These horses go on to pass on their genes to create more speedy but unsound horses destined for short, brilliant careers.

There is a way to ensure that the priciest studs are the most durable: open up the Triple Crown races to horses of all ages. That would immediately eliminate 3-year-olds from the gene pool because it would be nearly impossible for a 3-year-old to win the Kentucky Derby, the Preakness, or Belmont, because horses don't reach their athletic peak until they're 4 or 5. This shows in the Bayer Speed Figures, a way of measuring the performance of a horse on the track. The average score of Derby winners is 109, while top 4 year olds are capable of 120.

The Triple Crown used to be the beginning of a horse's career, now it's the early endpoint. They may as well put an ovulating mare just past the wire at Belmont Park, ready to receive the latest immature sire. The desire of breeders for instant gratification is destroying the Thoroughbred. So come on, equestrian poo-bahs, open the Triple Crown to horses of all ages.

Lak

NBA Playoff Predictions

2008-04-22T16:01:00.000-07:00

Sorry this is after the playoffs have already started but so far the games haven't interfered with my picks at all, so here goes.

First Round

Eastern Conference (number of games in parentheses)

Boston over Atlanta (4)
Detroit over Philadelphia (6)
Orlando over Toronto (5)
Cleveland over Washington (6)

Western Conference

Los Angeles over Denver (4)
Dallas over New Orleans (6)
Pheonix over San Antonio (7)
Utah over Houston (6)

Second Round

Eastern Conference

Boston over Cleveland (6)
Detroit over Orlando (7)

Western Conference

Los Angeles over Utah (6)
Pheonix over Dallas (6)

Conference Finals

Boston over Detroit (5)
Los Angeles over Pheonix (7)

NBA Finals

Los Angeles over Boston (7)

Lak

Boycott Beijing

2008-04-10T07:16:00.000-07:00

"We believe the Olympic Games are not the place for demonstrations and we hope that all people attending the Games recognize the importance of this." Thus spake Samsung Electronics, one of the 12 major sponsors of the Olympic Games in Beijing. Coca-Cola, another sponsor, has stated that it would be inappropriate to "comment on the political situations in other nations." The chairman of the IOC, Jacques Rogge, was also quick to declare that a boycott "doesn't solve anything," just as quick as he dismissed protesters at the flame lighting ceremony saying, rather pompously, "It's always sad to see such a ceremony disrupted."

This shouldn't surprise anyone. Companies have invested millions of dollars and Olympic bureaucrats have spent years trying to justify the decision to hold the Olympic Games in China, and they are using these types of arguments, but that doesn't mean I have to believe them. Let's run through them real quick, shall we?

A boycott doesn't solve anything.

Really? Some boycotts do help solve things. The boycott of South African athletes was probably the most effective thing the international community did to help end apartheid. There's a famous quote that said, "They (South Africans) didn't mind much about the business sanctions, but what they really, really minded--was the cricket." The 1980 boycott of the Moscow Olympics helped to undermine the Soviet propaganda concerning the invasion of Afghanistan, as well as helping the Western world to unify against something. I don't know for certain, but I'm pretty sure that from the Soviet perspective, their boycott of the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics did the same for them.

The Olympics are a source of good.

Not always! For those too young to remember, the 1936 Olympic Games were held in Berlin, and were used as an astonishing propaganda coup for Hitler of almost Leni Riefenstahl quality. It's true that Jesse Owens shot holes all through Hitler's theory of Aryan racial superiority, but Hitler still got what he wanted out of the Games. The whole world thought that Germany was back in the family of nations again, and that Hitler could be tolerated. All this while the Nuremburg Laws were being enforced, camps in Dacau were packed, and people were cheering in Berlin.

The Olympic Games are not the place for demonstrations.

Actually, aren't the Olympics the perfect place for demonstrations? The world's media is in one place with cameras rolling and the purpose of the Olympics is a political one: to promote international peace by encouraging healthy competition between nations. Hence the emphasis of national teams instead of individuals. Hence the medal count of nations. Hence the opening and closing ceremonies and the use of flags and national anthems.

These elements make the Olympics special and separate them from similar competitions, but it's also what gives them a nasty edge. The old US vs USSR rivalry, the parade of deep-voiced, mustachioed women from East Germany, and the medal counts. All these are examples of the politicization of the Olympics. The black power demonstrations at the 1968 Mexico City Games, the 1972 Munich Games, Aborigines protesting the 2000 Sydney Games. As well as everything associated with the 2008 Games; the passing of the torch through Tibet, the use of the Games to spur Chinese Socialist development, and to promote the domestic and foreign image of the Chinese state.

Some people have mentioned that the heads of state of different nations boycott attending the opening games. Seriously, what would that do? Were Bush and Blair at the Turin or Sydney Games? I don't remember nor care. Others have suggested that we go, and just protest at the games in similar vain to what was done in Mexico City. Does anyone really believe that would happen? Not because people wouldn't try, because I'm sure that they would, but because the Chinese state is one that has become very good at suppressing opinions that differ from their own, especially one's of performers. A teacher in one of my classes last night said that maybe athletes should carry Tibet flags under their shirts and unfurl them when they march out for the opening ceremony. Does anyone think that the Chinese will not be checking for anything like that? They've had nearly eight years to prepare themselves for something that they are already quite good at, and it's naive to think otherwise.

But it's no wonder that everyone who hates or fears China, from the people of Tibet, North Korea, Burma, Darfur, or even Beijing itself are calling for a boycott. And the Chinese and the IOC are terrified at the chance of their success. No one preparing for this year's games believes that it's "just about the athletes," or that Beijing will be simply a display of athletic prowess, or that they bear no nature of Chinese politics. And I don't see why we should all believe it either.

Lak

NFL Rules Committee Gets Something Right

2008-04-03T12:17:00.000-07:00

At the latest NFL Owners meeting, one of the new ordinances passed was to eliminate force-out decisions on completions and interceptions near the sidelines. Now, officials only have to see if the receiver's feet land in-bounds or not, with the intended result of consistency.

Look at the above picture. Imagine no defenders there. Will Winslow land with his feet in-bounds or not? It's impossible to tell. The referees didn't rule it a force-out, but they very well could have, which would have impacted the seasons of multiple teams, from the Browns probably going to the playoffs over the Titans as well as effecting the draft spots of three teams.

Many people will say that it's an unfair advantage to the defense, which it can be interpreted as, but what about all the other rules that give an unfair advantage to the offense? Why should there be an invisible boundary for the offensive player that extends off the field, while a defensive player who hits an offensive player before he runs out of bounds gets a penalty? How is this fair? Why should the same game be played on two different planes?

My problem, though, is philosophical. I consider myself to be an empiricist and my point of view is that it is impossible to determine that a player's feet would have landed in-bounds anyway if it wasn't for the defender doing his job and pushing the receiver out of bounds. One can never be completely certain of a future outcome, that's why we keep doing scientific experiments. No matter how many times you test something, there's nothing keeping it from acting differently in the future in a future test.

Return of the Boys of Summer

2008-03-31T14:27:00.001-07:00

Here are my baseball predictions for this year.

Division Champions

NL East-Atlanta Braves
NL Central-Chicago Cubs
NL West-Colorado Rockies
Wild Card-New York Mets

AL East-Boston Red Sox
AL Central-Detroit Tigers
AL West-Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Wild Card-Cleveland Indians

World Series
Red Sox over Mets

MVP-Magglio Ordonez

Cy Young-C.C. Sabathia

Lak

Clemens Dog-and-Pony Show and The Real Story

2008-02-14T11:58:00.000-08:00

Come on, it's been everywhere, so it's only logical that it would eventually end up here. I'm skipping all of the specifics and just saying that this hearing accomplished absolutely nothing whatsoever. Each man stuck to his story and each story was the antithesis of the other so obviously someone is lying, but neither one can be trusted so the end result of this to the people involved will be nothing.

In my opinion, this is overshadowing the real steroid-baseball story of Bud Selig ruling out independent, third-party testing of baseball players to detect the use of performance-enhancing substances. This is important because independent testing was one of the recommendations made in the Mitchell Report, and when it came out Selig said that he agreed with all of the recommendations and that they will be implemented by Major League Baseball. So now the man that has allowed this steroid frenzy to take place is expected to police its use? How silly would a person have to be to believe this organization, interested only in its self-preservation, can successfully and rightly police itself?

Give me a break.

*Spygate End Note*

It strikes me as interesting the fact that Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA) is the one person riding the NFL and the Patriots on the whole Spygate fiasco. What makes it interesting to me is the fact that Specter is one of the biggest proponents of the Patriot Act. An act passed by the government allowing illegal spying by the government on its own citizens sharing a name with an NFL team accused of spying on opponents and the government investigating this team for spying. Some things you just can't make up.

Lak

Everybody's an All-American except Australians

2008-02-07T16:02:00.000-08:00

On a lighter Note....

I know it's early but here are my predictions for:

First Team All-Americans

Derrick Rose - Frosh - Guard - Memphis

Brandon Rush - Junior - Guard - Kansas

Michael Beasley - Frosh - Forward - Kansas State

Tyler Hansbrough - Junior - Forward - North Carolina

Kevin Love - Frosh - Center - UCLA

It's pretty amazing to me that the state of Kansas has the best two basketballers in the country.

Freshman All-Americans

Derrick Rose - Guard - Memphis

Kevin Love - Center - UCLA

Eric Gordon - Guard - Indiana

Kyle Singler - Forward - Duke

Michael Beasley - Forward - Kansas State

I'd like to see Aussies A.J. Ogilvy (F, Vanderbilt) and Patrick Mills (G, Saint Mary's) make the squad but this 2008 class is probably one of the best you'll ever see. Don't forget this is pretty premature; We gotta see if these guys can handle the post season.

First Team All-Big Ten

Eric Gordon - Frosh - Guard - Indiana

Drew Neitzel - Senior - Guard - Michigan State

Jamar Butler - Senior - Guard - Ohio State

Geary Claxton - Senior - Guard/Forward - Penn State

Brian Butch - Senior - Forward/Center - Wisconsin

It aches me giving this much props to Eric Gordan after he left Illinois high and dry, although it wasn't half as bad the behavior Joe McKnight exuded.

E.T.

Lean and Green (Update)

2008-02-07T14:39:00.000-08:00

This is amazing. Not even 6 hours after I post something about the pollution in Beijing, which has become a huge issue for the Olympic Games coming there this summer. Many nations are deciding to prep their athletes in Japan in order to circumvent the pollution as much as possible.

The following nations will be sending athletes to Japan to prep instead of China: Germany, Britain, Sweden, the Netherlands, Belgium, and Australia.

In case anyone thinks that the reports of pollution in Beijing and China as a whole has been exaggerated by myself, I just offer this picture of Beijing taken from space.

Lak

Lean and Green

2008-02-07T10:31:00.000-08:00

I noticed something the other day when I was working on an assignment for my event management class. Our assignment was to look at the bid London made for the 2012 Summer Olympic Games and compare it with the bids of other cities and come up with reasons why London got the games instead of other cities like Paris, Madrid, and Rio de Janeiro.

What I noticed (at least between the bids of the top two cities considered, London and Paris) was that there was a lot of attention paid in both of those bids to the games being carbon-neutral, environmentally minimal, however you want to say it. This makes perfect sense to me because the environmentalist movement seems like something that you think would go hand in hand with the Olympism movement.

And then there's China.

My feelings about other reasons China shouldn't have been awarded the games I feel are well documented (in fact just scroll down), but while those were political reasons I think that these are ideological differences between the Olympics and Western nations and those of China. A few months ago, there was a report that Justine Henin won't be competing in the Olympics to defend her gold medal because of the poor air quality. Other athletes, as well as teams, have come out saying that they will be wearing breathing masks when they're outside but not competing. This city poses a health risk for everyone, athletes and spectators alike. China has already come out and said that they have to shut down factories in the Beijing area a week in advance just so you can see the city through the muck.

After all, would you rather spend two weeks in this:

Or this:

Lak

The Super Bowl Ended the Way the NFL Secretly Wanted (And Desperately Needed)

2008-02-05T12:01:00.000-08:00

I feel that the title of this explains my feelings about the Super Bowl (aside that it was an amazing game). It had pretty much everything that someone (mostly network and league brass) would want. Two leviathan-market teams competing on the world's biggest stage, one being one of the hottest teams in the league and the other going for the whole undefeated/perfection thing.

But all this was partially shadowed by one thing. The Patriots are probably cheaters. Now when it first came out and it was just Mangini coming out about it I never really thought that it was a big deal, but as more and more came out (the destruction of the Bellicheck spy tapes, recent reports of the Patriots spying on a Rams walkthrough the day before Super Bowl XXXIV, and Congress breathing down the Patriots' neck) I've started to change my mind. Just think of what the NFL would have to deal with if the team facing all of these allegations, which look more and more like they're true, won another championship of the premier league in American sports?

Also, on an unrelated note, when Bellicheck ran off the field with one second left (he was abandoning his team at that point because his defense still had to go out for the Giants to take a knee) I started to think that maybe LaDanian Tomlinson was right after all. That Bellicheck is a smug, classless slug, willing to put the integrity of the team, the owner, and the organization on the line just to win a few more games than he could with just his great ability and that of the team he coaches. It's really disappointing.

Lak

Ramblings

2008-01-29T22:18:00.000-08:00

My apologies if you stumbled in.

Johan Santana is going to New York Huh? Shocker. More luxury tax disdain from the opulent.

Why is it when I go to ESPN.com they automatically start playing their videos, now they start playing commercials. Thanks ESPN. Is there a way i can be come member to the status where I don't have to view commercials on your site. How much would that run me?

Rich Rodriguez. What a douche.

In my personal opinion i think that Media Day for the Superbowl is a little much...whoa I know I'm going out on a limb by saying that. But maybe, just maybe this is why the terrorist hate us. I mean if there was this much attention paid to Afghanistan's Rat Shooting Championship or Saudi Arabia's Field Hockey Tournament of Champions we'd probably want to ride one of their camels strapped with C4 into their Caves/Sand Dunes.

God Bless America

ET.

Made in China

2008-01-29T13:09:00.001-08:00

With fewer than 200 days until the August 8 Opening Ceremonies, Beijing is in the throes of preparation. Roads and subway lines are being completed, and the sports stadiums are nearly complete. But with more than 20,000 journalists expected to be present, Beijing is also tightening its control of information.

This also means the increased campaign against dissent in China as part of the preparations. In an NY Times article a Chinese official is quoted as saying, "This is a coordinated cleansing campaign. All the trouble makers--including potential trouble makers--are being silenced prior to the Games." In recent months, many dissenters have been jailed, including one factory worker who collected 10,000 signatures on a petition saying "We Want Human Rights, Not the Olympics."

Those who care or at least pretend to care about human rights must start to discuss this issue in plain words. Is there an initiative to save the un-massacred people of Darfur? It will be met with a Chinese veto. Does anyone care about Robert Mugabe treating his desperate population as if it belonged to him personally? China is always ready to help him out. Are the North Koreans starved and isolated so that a wannabe-playboy can play with nuclear weapons? Beijing will give that playboy a guarantee. How long can Southeast Asia bear the embarrassment of the Burmese junta? As long as they stay within the Chinese embrace. The identity of Tibet is being obliterated by the deliberate importation of Chinese settlers and the forced inter-breeding. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who claims to know and control the sexual lives of his provincial serfs, is armed and financed by the Chinese. It was this way when President Clinton wanted to take on Slabodan Milosovic and was stymied.

China also maintains territorial claims against India, Vietnam, obviously Taiwan, and is also building a larger army, as well as a huge ocean going navy, in order to back up these ambitions. It seems like an eon ago, because it was before September 11 in the infancy of the Bush Administration, when an American aircraft was involved in a midair collision over Hainan Island. The Chinese acted as if the accident was diliberate, impounded the plane and its crew for several days, and went on a display of mass chauvinism. Events in the Mid-East have since made this incident a footnote, but that region is where we can truly see Beijing's intentions. If Beijing had its way, Saddam Hussein would still be in power, while Iran was being supplied with Silkworm missiles. Most horribly of all, China buys most of Sudan's oil and in return provides the Sudanese with weaponry for the cleansing of Darfur.

Meanwhile, everyone is getting ready for the lovely time they will have at the Beijing Olympics. If there could be a simple demand that would fuse almost all human rights demands of the contemporary world into one, it would be a call to boycott or cancel this disgusting celebration.

Playoff Picks

2008-01-18T10:43:00.000-08:00

Home Team in CAPS

San Diego (+14) over NEW ENGLAND

Just so I'm clear I don't think that San Diego is going to win this game, but I do think it will be a lot closer than people think. I know that Rivers and LDT might not play but think realistically they're going to play even if their eyes start bleeding, and I know you shouldn't take a warm-weather team on the road in the championship game of the playoffs unless you have a really really good reason. This, though, isn't the Patriots team of weeks 1-10. They don't rip out your heart and then spit on you. As recent opponents have proved that as long as you don't let Moss run wild and you don't turn the ball over you can always hang around. Also, whenever there's a double-digit spread in the playoffs you should either take the points or run away.

Final Score: 34-27 Patriots

GREEN BAY (-7) over New York Giants

I told Andres that I thought that the score would be 17-13 Packers, but I've done some more thinking and I think that the Packers might take this game with the same ease that they took the game last week. I just can't take Eli on the road (this will be the third straight road game for the Giants), in weather worse than that in Russia right now (right after Eli said that he doesn't like playing in the cold). The only X Factor that I'm concerned with is the wind. If it's as windy as it was in the Packers-Bears game in Chicago it will be razor close, but if there's no wind the Pack will roll.

Final Score: 31-17 Packers

Week 14 Picks

2007-12-06T12:47:00.000-08:00

Home teams in CAPS

WASHINGTON (-3) over Chicago

I'm still not sure about the effects of Sean Taylor on this Redskins team. If you bet on this game you'll bet on anything, but I'll say this, Rex will throw a bad pick at the worst time and the Skins kick a field goal for the win at home.

Indianapolis (-9.5) over BALTIMORE

Indy is just getting healthy, and Baltimore is coming off a short week and an emotional loss to the Pats. Take the champs in this one.

JACKSONVILLE (-10.5) over Carolina

I really like this Jacksonville team, they're really tough and could have easily won that game last week. They're not losing two in a row. On a separate note, let's just retire the exaggeration of age joke in the booth from now on and I'm saying this because of Vinny Testaverde. "Testaverde comes up under center as he has for the past 115 years..." (fake chuckles from other announcers). Someone needs to put a stop to this, I blame Chris Berman.

Dallas (-10) over GOD'S TEAM

Detroit is fading fast, and as we've seen with Kurt Warner (I'm telling you Kitna) God is flighty when it comes to football.

Miami (+7) over BUFFALO

I'm not picking Miami to win. I really really want them to go 0-16 and I don't know why. That's schadenfreude for ya. Anyway, I think Buffalo is a year away from being important but they're very frisky. If they come away with that win over Dallas they're right there in the AFC playoff race with Tennessee.

N.y. Giants (+3) over PHILADELPHIA

I hate this Giants team, they're so schizophrenic. Also, I love how the coach with one of the worst records during the later half of the season has "cough" in his name. But I also don't know why Vegas loves the Eagles so much. They give them points out of the ether almost every week. The Giants will show up this week.

CINCINNATI (-6.5) over St. Louis

I hate this game.

St. Louis (+6.5) over CINCINNATI

I really hate this game.

CINCINNATI (-6.5) over St. Louis

OK there I did it.

GREEN BAY (-10.5) over Oakland

I really think that Brett Favre should sit this one out and just try to win a Super Bowl instead of keeping this streak going, but you have to love Brett Favre because he can't take painkillers anymore. A long time ago when he started liking them a little too much so now he can't take them anymore so he's doing all this without drugs. He's the Anti-Bonds!

San Diego (-1) over TENNESSEE

I really hate both of these teams. Apparently Albert Haynesworth is worth a 30 point swing as far as they're defense goes, the Madden Curse is working its magic on Vince Young, Norv Turner, Norv Turner on the road, and Phillip Rivers' sophomore slump. I reluctantly take the Bolts.

Tampa Bay (-3) over HOUSTON

My Bucs are in position to win out with they're easy schedule over the last few weeks. I can easily see them at 12-4 and depending what happens with the Packers there's a possibility of a first round bye. I can always hope.

Arizona (+7) over SEATTLE

Seattle is possibly the worst 8-4 team in NFL history. If Warner didn't give the game away against the Niners and Ferotte doesn't fumble it on the goal line two weeks ago, the Cards are actually winning this god-forsaken division.

Minnesota (-9) over SAN FRANCISCO

The Vikes seem like they're the late-season-run team of this season. This one will be easy, include this one on your list of 3 team teasers (along with Jacksonville and Dallas).

Cleveland (-3) over N.Y. JETS

I'm starting to lose faith in this Cleveland team even though they were a force out call away from winning that game against Arizona. I hate the force out rule because it's just so arbitrary you can't tell where their feet might land. They might land anywhere. The rules should be universal.

Kansas City (+6.5) over DENVER

How does Denver get six points over anybody? The Broncos are awful. That's all I have to say about that.

Pittsburgh (+10.5) over NEW ENGLAND

The Pats can't run the ball and can't stop the run very well. It seems to me that the Pats of today are the Colts of a few years ago, and the Pats have one of the worst Red Zone offenses in the league so if Pitt can slow them down and bend but not break they have a chance.

New Orleans (-4) over ATLANTA

Probably the worst Monday Night games in recent memory.

Record (since Week 11 excluding Week 12): 27-21

Bowlin'

2007-12-05T16:00:00.000-08:00

Rose Bowl: Illinois vs. USC

Although I'm happy my beloved Fighting Illini made it to the rose bowl, i wish a there were a few more Pac 10 competitors to knock USC down a peg. USC should have this one rather easily...but God i hope illinois gives 'em hell!

Sugar Bowl: Hawaii vs. Georgia

Hawaii, Welcome to the BCS. I pick Georgia to win and hurt a couple people while their at it. The only team that playing harder and better than UGA lately is USC. Aloha Brennen

Fiesta Bowl: Oklahoma vs. West Virginia.

Sam Bradford is a man-child. This kid has come off the reservation and dominated. Both QB's however have been a little banged up over the last 2 weeks. With the shitty bowl schedule they will have plenty of time to heal though! I pick OU by the closest margin of all the BCS bowls.

BCS Championship: LSU vs. Ohio State

How many times can LSU be knocked out of the top 2? Honestly i think LSU will win this game by 2 touchdowns, Glenn Dorsey will get hurt, and Les Miles will Cry....To much?

Other Bowl Stuff:

Best Bowl Name of 2007: San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl (opinion)
Least Watched Bowl of 2007: R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl (prediction)
Most Literal Bowl Name of 2007: Texas Bowl (opinion) TCU vs Houston

ET

Bad Reception

2007-11-29T12:12:00.000-08:00

This is an embarrassing moment for the NFL in my opinion. It is terrible that one of the best match ups of the regular season so far, and a game that will probably decide home field advantage in the NFC playoff picture, will not be seen by at least 75% of NFL fans (according to a survey that I just made up), but in reality only 39% of people in the US with televisions are able to receive the NFL Network, according to USA Today.

I believe that this is a part of a greater trend that sports leagues, primarily the juggernaut that is the NFL, are putting a burden on the fans. You want to come watch games at our new stadium? Well, ok then you're going to have to pay higher ticket prices and also $5 for a water or $10 for a beer (one example, when the Steelers built their new football stadium ticket prices went up 62%). Hmmmm, alright NFL, but what if I want to watch a Thursday night game in the comfort of my own living room? Well, fan, you're going to have to get a satillite dish. Eventually the costs of attending, and maybe even possibly watching the games on television, might become too expensive for the average fan. There's a reason why there isn't the blue-collar worker watching the ball game in the bleacher seats anymore. Because he can't go to the game. Instead it's the upper crust of society that can afford those season tickets. These fans also don't care about the game as much. One of the reasons college football is so great is because the fans in the stands care almost just as much, if not more, than the players and coaches on the field.

Again, the burden of a large majority of these costs in professional sports is being put on the shoulders of the fanbase. Eventually, there will get to be a point where the fans just won't pay the prices and franchises won't be able to pay their bills.

I'm kind of getting off on a rant here, but I hate the corporatization/bastardization of sports. The little white towels that a corporate sponsor hands out before the game that just a rip-off of the terrible towel are pretty much the epitomy of what I hate about sports today. And best of all, they look like surrender flags. What's next? The Chicago Bears brought to you by Huggies, or AT&T presents the Denver Broncos? Eventually, it's going to get to that point and it makes me sick. Our sports leagues are starting to look a lot like our economy, and I mean that in a sense that instead of being bought up by Chinese bankers and European CEOs, that our leagues are in essence auctioning themselves off to the highest bidder and it's the fans that suffer.

Week 13 Picks

2007-11-28T17:17:00.000-08:00

This will be brief. I am procrastinating very badly and doing 4 things at once while trying to write a paper, which is due tomorrow, at the same time. So here are the picks.

Home teams in CAPS

DALLAS (-7) over Green Bay
Jacksonville (+7) over INDIANAPOLIS
ST. LOUIS (NL) over Atlanta
Buffalo (+5.5) over WASHINGTON
MINNESOTA (-3) over Detroit
Houston (+4) over TENNESSEE
N.Y. Jets (+1) over MIAMI
San Diego (-5) over KANSAS CITY
PHILADELPHIA (-3) over Seattle
San Francisco (+3) over CAROLINA
Tampa Bay (+3) over NEW ORLEANS
Cleveland (+1.5) over ARIZONA
Denver (-3.5) over OAKLAND
CHICAGO (+1.5) over N.Y. Giants
Cincinnati (+7) over PITTSBURGH
New England (-20.5) over BALTIMORE

It looks like it's going to be a hell week for home teams so just be aware fans when you go to the game on Sunday.

Week 11:9-7
Week 12:Week Off (holiday)

Year of the Longshot

2007-11-27T17:22:00.000-08:00

Starting with Appalachian State's triumph at Michigan, continuing with the upsets of USC at the hands of a Stanford team that lost to Notre Dame, Colorado beating Oklahoma, Florida State beating Boston College, and the rolling along through the systematic toppling of top ranked teams, it's been an amazing year.

And the result? Well, with one more win apiece, the national championship game will be contested by those perennial powerhouses, Missouri and West Virginia. That's a prospect akin to Albania playing for the World Cup title, and that's probably disrespectful to Albania. Another example is someone like Adam Sandler being an Academy Award nominee. That seems to make the point more accordingly.

The vast American sports commentariat will weigh what it all means. Parity, scholarship limits, departures of talented underclassmen for the pros will be among explanations that are cited with frequency. And that's all very interesting, but more importantly, this year's topsy-turvy scramble shows the need for a systematic championship scheme--perhaps a single elimination tournament of anywhere between 8 and 32 teams, using established bowl games as sites.

As it is, a championship won by the likes of Missouri or West Virginia will inevitably produce widespread grumbling that the result was a fluke. Soreheads will claim that the team that was really best didn't get to play. I think though that this year that there are a lot of #2 and #3 teams but no number one and no year seems to need a playoff more than this one.

There'd be far less griping after a real playoff, even if it was won by Albania, or even Mizzou.

McNabb: A Fantasy Complaint

2007-11-19T14:28:00.000-08:00

Thanks Donovan McNabb, Thanks for actually getting me one point in fantasy football. Thanks for rushing for 30 yards and Passing for 30 yards. Thanks for the 2 interceptions. Thanks for making me start Kurt Warner next week.

ET

Kansas, Really?

2007-11-16T13:32:00.000-08:00

No. 2 Oregon went down in flames yesterday to unranked conference opponent Arizona(who apparently is quite good against ranked teams in November). Zona opens the gates for yet another no. 2 team. Everyone must believe it will be Kansas (Cinderella or not they are 10 and 0). But will they be able to hold the position? With Iowa State and Missouri left, i say no. I don't think that Iowa State will beat them but i do believe that (given the cyclones past) Iowa St. will play them hard and wear them out. Letting a great Missouri squad reap the benefits of beating the Undefeated. Thus thrusting Mizzou into a possible title match. That is, if Oklahoma (The only team to beat Mizzou) fails to get past either OSU and Texas Tech.

Hey What About:

No. 6 West Virgina (8 - 1) - Well WVU has 3 games left all of them conference. Two of them verse ranked opponents. Granted UCONN and Cincy are the two teams hardly anyone would expect to be ranked in November, but they are tough and one might prove capable of defeating Slaton and White. Even if they do win out, i don't believe they will have the quality wins to get to the big game. The only way they get there is if everyone in front of them loses (again).

No. 7 Ohio State (10 - 1) - Well, They need to beat Michigan. Hope Kansas and OU lose and leap frog Mizzou, still a long shot. Oh and i don't think they should have dropped that far after losing to the Illini (Illinois is 8 and 3 and beat Wisconsin and Penn State, here is a website for ya hireronzook.com!)

No. 8 Arizona State (9 - 1) - Is and always will be overrated. there is a good chance they may drop out of the top 25 and go 0 and 2 in the next 2 games (USC and Arizona)

Although the Sun Devils are overated the uniforms are fantastic! (Photo From: Pac-10 Poon)

Week 11 Picks

2007-11-14T13:32:00.000-08:00

I figured that it was time that I started making my NFL picks here because lately I've been raking in the funds. So betters gather round and heed my words!

Home Teams in CAPS

CINCINNATI (-3.5) over Arizona

I'm not really who's playing quarterback for this Arizona team anymore. I guess it's Warner but I haven't really heard anything about them for a long time. And they're 1-5 when they're not in the desert.

JACKSONVILLE (-3) over San Diego

I'm taking the Jags for a couple reasons, (a) that win by SD over Indy was a fluke if I ever saw one, (b) Norv Turner, offensive genius, will plan the game around not giving the ball to LDT, and (c) Jacksonville is kind of good.

MINNESOTA (-5.5) over Oakland

I know it looks like I'm only taking the home favorites this week and I hate it. I hate this game especially. Both these teams are awful, Adrian Peterson isn't going to play, Oakland doesn't do anything especially well, and did I mention both teams are terrible? I'll take the favorite at home everytime in games like these.

Cleveland (-2.5) over BALTIMORE

Probably the easiest pick of the week. Only a fool would take the Ravens at this point. Will they ever make a decision on Kyle Boller? Seriously I have no idea how Billick can be married if he is as indecisive on women as he is on his quarterbacks. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that Kyle Boller is fighting for a starting spot in training camp in 2046.

INDIANAPOLIS (-14.5) over Kansas City

I know that Freeney is out, but it's really not that big a deal for this game. Hopefully Indy can get their act together this week but I'm skeptical. Normally I would take the points in KC's favor in this one but I'm not for two reasons, (a) Brodie Croyle is making his first regular season start in a hostile environment and (b) I'm not putting my money on a team who's coached by someone who doesn't have an internet connection.

Pittsburgh (-9.5) over NY JETS

Normally when Pitt lets a team stick around in a game that shouldn't they go out and shallack the next opponent, and the Jets' qb is going to only make his second start.

Tampa Bay (-3) over ATLANTA

Atlanta is Tampa's home away from home. Now I am a Tampa Bay fan but I really hate this team. They're first round fodder for sure. But I'm not going to pick a team with John Joseph Harrington at the helm, I will not.

PHILADELPHIA (-10.5) over Miami

Again a rookie qb making their first start on the road in hostile environments, I'll take the home favorite every time. Especially when the underdog is a team with the best chance to go winless in a long time. It has to be harder to go winless than undefeated, because when you're undefeated everyone is gunning for you, but when you're winless, no one takes you seriously, so based on the odds alone you have to win sometime. But not this week.

New England (-15.5) over BUFFALO

I'm taking the Pats until they lose, if they lose.

DALLAS (-10.5) over Washington

Dallas is just too good for Washington. They're heads and shoulders above everyone else. Washington is one of those teams where one week they'll look kind of good but then the next week they look terrible and give up a big lead in the fourth quarter.

DETROIT (-3) over Ny Giants

The Lions are nearly unstoppable at home, and Eli looked really bad in their last game. This week the Lions are one win closer to Kitna's preseason prediction of 10 wins.

The rest of the games honestly suck and I don't even want to talk about them but here are the picks for the rest of the games.

New Orleans (-1) over HOUSTON
GREEN BAY (-10.5) over Carolina
St. Louis (-3) over SAN FRANCISCO
SEATTLE (-6) over Chicago
Tennessee (+2) over DENVER

Playoff Sickness...

2007-11-10T11:27:00.000-08:00

Today i was dreaming of how amazing it would be if there were a Division 1A football playoff...

You'd think with how many times the top 2 teams have fallen from grace this year that we'd be somewhat close...

Now, i don't normally agree with James Carville but he has it right in this case

“The BCS is like the electoral college — a convoluted way to pick a winner, The electoral college was a bad idea thought up by great men trying to do a noble thing. The BCS is a stupid idea thought up by intellectual midgets trying to protect greedy college presidents.

It's possible the Ohio State could lose to Illinois or Michigan...then who's our true No. 1?

Only A playoff will tell.

E.T.

Ps. this isn't the last your gonna hear about this, consider it an hors d'oeuvre

Next Best Thing To Hans

2007-09-28T15:53:00.000-07:00

Melt Down Huh...yea yea...whatever it's women's soccer...tell you what

The only thing i hope for out of this whole Hope Solo business is a Hope Solo sex tape ...she's one hot Keeper...(Insert Balls Joke here), In today's world it seems that would be the perfect icing on the cake for her. You take a stand, your vagina is one display for every frat boy at your alma mater (U of Washington) ...I don't know how, but it happens.

I just hope she has a few friends with her in the video...Heather Mitts?

http://www.ussoccer.com/bio/index.jsp_5190.html

E.T.

App St 34 Mich 32

2007-09-01T15:25:00.000-07:00

Upset or Not?

Honestly, No....Just because Appalachian State falls in to the Criteria of an AA program. Has nothing to do with how they run their offense...or better yet Pick apart Michigan's Splotchy Defense. With Carr having to replace many good D players and the fact that Appalachian State is 2 time Defending Class AA champions (And Almost Unanimous Pick for a 3rd consecutive).

If App State had a few more fans, a bigger stadium, and better Revenue the would easily be in the top half of the D1-A teams.

The best thing to come from this Win is that it's now justified to have D1-AA teams on EA Sports NCAA Football.

Maybe 1-AA is the undersized little brother of 1-A, But you still have to play the game.

ET

The Crying Games

2007-07-30T08:15:00.000-07:00

Lately there's been a lot of news coming out of China, and most of it, either directly or indirectly, is linked to the fact that China is hosting the Summer Olympics next summer. And this made me think about how much the Olympics suck to watch on TV.

One of the guy networks like ESPN has to broadcast an old-school version of the Olympics that leaves out all the "Hallmark Moments" and just shows sports.

Adolf Hitler once used the Olympics to demonstrate that Aryans were strong; NBC uses them to show the world that Americans like to cry a lot. Look, I understand that everything nowadays has to be rendered bloated, syrupy, dumbed down, and sentimental--this is America, after all. But for those of you out there who may be too young to remember a time before Oprah ruined everything: in the old days when we watched the Olympics, it wasn't continuous sob-sister profiles interrupted by the occasioal sporting event, it was just the events. There was none of this stuff about the heartbreak and pain it took to become the best damn kayaker a man can be. It was enough just to watch a man throw a long stick or a big iron ball. His mom's chemotherapy, his sister's glass eye, and his dog, a wounded combat vet--they never entered into it. We weren't told whose grandpa was paralyzed in a tractor accident or that the decathlon guy has a cleft palate and overcame a lifetime of bed-wetting to go for the gold, because if someone had told us that, we would have said, "Hey, if I wanted to sit through hours of melodramatic personal backstory, I'd pay attention to my date."

Take Nancy Pitts of the US women's wrestling team. A few years ago, the unthinkable happened to Nancy--she was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Happily, it was caught in time, and she was able to go back to her usual training regimen: 3 hours of weight lifting, followed by an hour of shaving.

The Olympic Games are that rarest of events, a coalition of a great variety of nations coming together for a purpose other than killing Iraqis. So please, media barons, just give us one channel where it's simply about the competition and the belief that how high a man can jump is also a measurement of who has the best country.

Lak

Clemens and Yankee$, A Marriage Made in Heaven

2007-05-20T18:33:00.000-07:00

Roger Clemens might be the Anti-Christ. I'm sure it's not new to anyone that Roger Clemens recently signed a deal returning him to the New York Yankees worth the deficit of Bangladesh. And I can't stand Roger Clemens.

Now, I, even as one of the biggest Rocket-haters out there will concede his HoF resume. He's certainly won enough games, rang up enough K's (even has kids named Koby, Kory, Kacy, Kodachrome, Kornonthekob, etc.), owns enough Cy Young trophies, World Series rings, and records (including the hallowed Only Guy to Strike Out 20 Batters Twice mark). He has made enough money to fund a Micheal Bay movie (and that's not even counting endorsements and other goodies). He has everything. Or so it seems. He just doesn't have one thing.

Fans. He doesn't have any.

And that's why he's so unique. He sails along in his early 40's, pitching as well as anybody has ever pitched, only nobody cares about him. Can you recall another superstar squandering his emotional connection to every possible city? Boston fans loathe him, Toronto fans despise him, and Yankee fans will never fully embrace him because of his Boston roots. So who's left? Name any superstar over the past 50 years; within a nano-second, you instinctively link that athlete to one city. Rose? Cincinnati. Jordan? Chicago. Montana? San Francisco. The list goes on. In every case, the superstar enjoyed his prime in a particular city and reaps the benefits of that relationship to this day. Not Clemens. He drifts along like the Wolf in "Pulp Fiction"--no attachments to anyone or anything, a hired hitman, the superstar who sold out his fans for a few extra bucks. Instead of a team's logo, the cap on his HoF bust should just have a dollar sign on it.

Casual fans still associate Clemens with Boston, regardless of his current team (the Yankees), or with enough bad blood between them to rival the Overlook Hotel's main elevator at the end of "The Shining". I believe that Clemens could have possibly healed this rift and give himself a true fanbase willing to forgive him of his previous transgressions, and welcome him back in their embraces. But he chose not to.

So the defining moment of his career isn't any one of his performances on the mound but instead came during the opening ceremonies for the 1999 All-Star Game at Fenway. Here Clemens took part in the Greatest Players of the 20th Century introductions, as every living legend wore the cap of the team with whom they're most prominently associated with, Clemens wore a Yankees hat, which made perfect sense because he had been playing in New York for around 3 months at the time. He blew his chance at redemption. It was just like in the movie "Midnight Run", when the Duke finds out that Jack was forced out of Chicago by the same mobster (Serrano) who was trying to kill him. Duke knew that Serrano will have him killed in prison and pleads with Jack to let him go, but Jack needs the bounty ($100,000) so he can retire and open a coffee shop. So the incredulous Duke says: "Serrano was the heroin dealer you told me about, the guy who owned your buddies and destroyed your life, that's Serrano? That's the guy that you're taking me in to? That's the guy who's gonna kill me. (Disgusted pause) I hope it's a wonderful coffee shop, Jack." Which is how the whole city of Boston probably felt when he put on that Yankees cap.

Hey Roger, I hope it's a wonderful coffee shop.

On The Rubber

2007-05-02T10:39:00.000-07:00

So i was watching on tv and this girl comes on and talks about how she met a baseball player a couple of weekends ago. Apparently he's a Relief Pitcher for a professional ball club and he's a little freaky. My GF (Who is a little Naive about sports, she's an Art Major) asks me how he could be that way. I replied just because they are in the limelight doesn't mean they are not humans like you and me. he has every right to be an idiot.

Anyway, when this girl asked how she should keep the interest of said ballplayer i thought to myself it's simple "Go as-long as you can w/o fucking him" Simple enough. You keep the vagina from the guy who thinks he can get whatever he wants when he wants.

I am sure he's a nice guy, but i have been around elite athletes before and these guys have ego's like you wouldn't believe. Besides women, they think they are god's gift to every sport...and then i kicked their ass at ping pong.

Electric Turbo

If you pick them they might come...ask Eli

2007-04-28T08:58:00.000-07:00

Okay, like my colleague i will be blogging throughout the draft. Not that anyone cares...

First off may i extend a very happy birthday to my favorite mutt Jessica Alba, even she enjoys a little pig skin

Alright.,..now it's time to ask ourselves this:

Is JaMarcus Russell or Brady Quinn the next Ryan Leaf or Akili Smith?
Is Paul Posluszny the next Brian Bosworth? ( He doesn't have that much Moxy)
Will there ever be another Lawrence Philips? (God i hope so)
Will the Penn State RB (Blair Thomas, Ki-Jana Carter, Curtis Enis) Curse turn on LB's(Paul Posluszny, Tim Shaw Too?
Who will fuck up by playing it safe and taking a Lineman at the wrong spot? (Excludes Joe Thomas, Levi Brown, and maybe Joe Staley)

Here We Go...

Raiders....Jamarcus Russell...Well even though spell check doesn't recognize him, you certainly do...May i extend a thank you on behalf of Calvin Johnson and Brady Quinn's family for not ruining their careers before the start. (Summarized: Anti-Climactic)

Draft Day Hats: A Luxurious Trucker Hat

Roger Watch....Very nice 1st photo op....even though standing next to Russell he looked a little insignificant

Lions....Calvin Johnson....although the Lions haven't picked him yet...it's an addiction. WR's are their Meth. I don't have to wait for Lindsay Lohan to pick Coke to know that she will pick Coke...ya see? (Just for a reminder: Mike Williams, Roy Williams, Charles Rodgers, (Summarized: Typical)

-I hate when they take the whole 15 mins, especially when they trade it....gets my blood boilin'

-Does anyone else think that Under Armour commercials are tacky?

Browns...1) Brady Quinn is much to handsome to downgrade to brown 2) I don't wanna see Brady Quinn become the next Tim Couch 3) The Blonde that's with him is smoking. .....JOE THOMAS....NICELY DONE...This guy has probowl potential, not to mention this guy is billy badass (i mean it's documented that he would hunt a boilermaker) He is a Tony Boselli and John Runyan Type. Although the crowd at Radio City was yelling "Cleveland Sucks" that may be true in general, but not for this pick. (Summarized: Surprise)

-You know in 20 years Brady Quinn is going to kiss Suzy Kobler...if he hasn't already...they are really close in that interview.

-I like Mel Kiper i hate Chris Berman...sorry

-I think that this 15 minute business is bull

-What's the over under for the first D pick.

lak says 5 and a half...he's off by 1 and a half

Buccaneers...Gains Adams...Well i have always associated the Buccs with D...it's a good pick i guess...only time will tell (Summarized: Associative)

-You know Sean Salisbury once had a Christmas Tree shaved in the back of his head

Roger Watch...Where are you Goodell

Cardinals...well Joe Thomas is gone..and Levi Brown could have a stroke and still limit the cardinals sacks to half of last years total. Everyone knew that Quinn wasn't going to Phoenix and if you were smart you would realize that Peterson is the Athlete who wants to be like Caddy Williams in TB. (Summarized: Needed)

Redskins....don't they ever want a household name behind center?...LaRon Landry...the next Roy Williams...can hit like no other...but it looks like that the redskins will have to always have 5 DB's on the field to cover the long ball (Summarized: Quarterback?)

Roger Watch....A little shaky on the LaRon announcement

Vikings...I'd like to see them get Robert Smith type in regards to productivity. which i believe Adrian Peterson is...Yup...he might have fallen but so did randy moss...and Peterson has more worth than Moss not to mention integrity (Summarized: Ideal)

By they way that cutie on Quinn's Arm is Lindy Slinger...Soccer Player on Miami (Ohio)...GF of 5 years...Here ya go stalkers http://muredhawks.cstv.com/sports/w-soccer/mtt/slinger_lindy00.html

Brady Remember what Big Ben Did after Dropping...and he went to your GF's Alma Mater...Love Triangle?

Petrino's...er...i mean Falcons....ok i thought we were all set up for Okoye then Quinn at Miami...but it looks like Petrino knows better and avoids the sudo-Louisville Nepotism and gets the guy who hasn't proved himself fully and could be a pro-bowler. (Summarized: where is the love?)

God damnit...these fucking Under Armour commercials suck...this is the fifth time i have seen it....you can almost smell the money that spurrier got this commercial.

Dolphins...ok with 12 mins left they haven't come running up with their pick which hopefully means they are entertaining some trade opportunities...Ted Ginn Jr....Oh My....WOW....Okay...well the last thing Miami needs is a Franchise QB...C'mon...Blondie needs some sun (Summarized: Ridiculous)

Texans....Well apparently Houston likes Defense...so Okoye.....the right pick...you know it, i know it... at least he can learn from all the other Defensive draft picks....(Summarized: Awesome)

Roger Watch...Takes the Quinn family into a special room that has no media entry...good guy move

49ers....with a major offensive picking movement the last couple of years...they go out and Take one of the best D players in the draft with Patrick Willis..i am not sure other than the rams who could use this guy more...(Summarized: I like Defense)

Bills...Well he's not yet developed the flair of Wills McGehee ...Marshawn Lynch will do for the bills. But you gotta feel sorry for a guy going from sunny cal to a place where it never gets over 80 degrees and rains 37 inches a year and 97 inches of snow a year...that's over 8 feet...wow.

Rams....WHY NOT TAKE QUINN? JESUS...what is with you and the Nebraska D-End? Adam Carriker...good player blah blah....he's not going to bring you what you need....this is so retarded. You need to take the best player available no matter what. (Summarized: No Balls)

Panthers...14th and 199 overall for the jets picks 25, 59, 164 overall (Summarized: Interesting)

Jets: Mel Kiper thinks that the golden boy won't follow in Broadway's footsteps, and i tend to agree...i still can't get over the Rams not taking him. Darrelle Revis CB...i don't even think he's the best defensive player on that pitt team...oh well that's why i don't have the authority to give up useless 5th rounders because according to this situation 5th rounders must not be worth shit...click clack...damnit steve spurrier (Summarized: Over Anxious)

Steelers: Well my cohort and i thought it would possibly be Paul Posluszny from Penn State potentially participating in Pittsburgh, but turns out they replace Porter with Lawrence Timmons...well can't blame them i guess. Side Note: No Cowher in the War Room, first time in 15 years...let's hope this kid Timmons doesn't wind up like FSU's last season. (Summarized: Rare Pick)

Suzy Kolbler reporting that the possibility of Cleveland moving up (Somehow) to get Quinn...If they Do and pick twice with in 15 first round picks it will be unprecedented. Not to mention that the Browns have nothing to offer.

Pack Attack....Wow...Justin Harrell DT. Tenn. Is their no sanity left in this League? Granted that the top needs as described by Steve Young for the Packers is WR, TE, O-Line, and other Offensive Players...Steve Young is upset. (Summarized: Retarded)

Roger Watch...Trade Announcement, good job goodell

Jags: Trade 17 overall for alot 21, 86, 198...5 spaces for a whole lot

Broncos: Jarvis Moss DE FLA....well, just another good D player for Bronco's...they definitely didn't need the qb...so...is it worth that much....in the short run: maybe (Summarized: Thug)

Bengals: they need some community work, how about a guy who do it without getting arrested. Leon Hall DB Mich. a Value Pick says Kipe...well i will take his word for it. I hope Cleveland's new policy of a thorough-background check piss test has be added before the draft (Summarized: Underrated)

These Teams are taking forever...

Titans....Saftey from Texas Michael Griffin...That's pretty comparable to getting a LB from Penn State...i'll allow it...may i welcome with this move Eric Frampton from Wash State to the Top 10 S's Board on ESPN's Draft Tracker. (Summarized: Wide Receivers?)

Giants...Well they need someone to protect Eli's Blindside. Also known as the manning family ego...but they go with a guy to help get Eli the ball back in Aaron Ross CB Texas...nice choice, i just saw him annihilate a Sooner. (Summarized: Steve Young likes it, i do to)

- I just noticed the Idaho had as many people declared for the draft as Illinois. hmm i don't think that a WAC school should match at Big 10 School in anyway.

Roger Watch...With the 21st Pick, With the 21st pick, c'mon Rodg...this is already a long draft.

Jags: A Random Safety...DB's are going wild...Reggie Nelson S Florida...Normal pick for this time in the draft. (Summarized: The Usual)

Cowboys...Trade to Cleveland....oh wow...here we go 22nd pick for 36 pick and first round pick in 2008...good trade.

Browns...Brady Quinn....Finally...holy crap Cleveland Now Rocks (Summarized: Amazing)

Chiefs...Kipe said they need Line help so they go with Dwayne Bowe out of LSU a Reciever...that's about right...Go Get'em Kipe (Summarized: Big Receiver, May need to learn the Guard Position)

Why has Staley not been taken? Apparently Large Lineman who move like Olympic Hurdlers aren't very attractive to teams that need linemen.

-Sidenote i love Jaws' segways.

My Colleague and i are looking for New England grabbing a LB or Two...Love to see Paul P. go here. We think he is a potential leader at this level.

Pats: Brandon Meriweather S. Out of Miami...Good Player, but a better fit for the troublesome Cincy...you know those boys gotta stay together. (Summarized: Not much to get into in New England)

Panthers: LB Jon Beason another Miami Alum...assuming these players did graduate..anyone familiar with the APR? (Summarized: I agree with Lak...Boring)

Eagles..Trade with Dallas...26th overall for a 2nd, 3rd and 5th rounder

Cowboys...Anthony Spencer DE Purdue...Cowboys fans don't like him...but they will when he breaks Jason Campbells Clavicle (Summarized: Over Dramatic)

You know if this was a fantasy draft some ass would have taken Mason Crosby (K, Colorado) by now...

Saints...With the loss of Joe Horn the Saints get a steal with Robert Meachem from Tenn. Meachem will take the position of Wide out for New Orleans. Summarize: Dropped To Far, Good Pick)

Meanwhile people else where are going around in circles. (Nascar on ESPN 2)

Pats...Trade 2nd First round pick with the 9ers...Chris Mortenson is Explaining the needs of the 9ers, i, uninterested continue to look for pictures of Jessica Alba and Football...

49ers...about time, Joe Staley OT Central Mich....Good Player, taken a little late...the dude was a sprinter in HS...jesus...over 6 and half feet tall and 305...he might be one of the bastard offspring of Bill Brasky...Do you know Bill Brasky (Summarized: Finally)

I think next year we are going to have a doctor on hand to check my sanity as this extremely long first round continues to get longer every year.

Ravens...Ben Grubbs G Auburn...First Guard taken..Kipe says he's great at pulling out...Ladies! (Summarized: Don't Care)

Chargers...I have a feeling they are getting Olsen out of Miami..Easily the best TE available...Even though Miami has \ been fighting rather then Winning they are still producing good players. Okay so they go with Craig Davis WR out of LSU...well Jamarcus's talent has definitely helped the LSU receivers too! or is it Vice Versa?

Da Bears...Ok...so i was one off...Good Player, they need receptions...Hopefully Grossman can get it to him (Summarized: Lucky)

Champs...Ok...at this point i have no idea who the Colts are going to take, it wouldn't surprise me who they picked or if they trade it, but whomever they get, that person should count their blessings, keep their head down and win a ring or two. Anthony Gonzalez....OSU...At least he has no chance of losing to a florida team. A nice replacement for Stoakley, Peyton will like him, i do to (Summarized: Done)

This just in the longest 1st round in the history of the NFL Draft...Awesome

Okay i am out, i left those of you who made it all the way through with a nice little football video..

No Worries

Draft Dodging

2007-04-28T08:55:00.000-07:00

Drama. And the NFL Draft is exactly that. Drama. It's also when Mel Kiper's hair comes out from hibernation with his player rankings, draft boards, and mock drafts. The draft is one of my favorite events, I mean how can you not like the New York Stock Exchange of the NFL? It's also very twisted. Think about it, players are inspected, sloted and traded by their new "owners", and it's legal and televised! As we all know the draft is a crapshoot at best. It all depends on the situation of each team. Taking a page from Bill Simmon's playbook, I'm having a draft diary keeping track of the draft. So let's rock this bitch!

11:10 AM-The Draft officially starts and the Raiders are on the clock. They've pretty much had this pick locked up since September and they still don't have a clue as to what they want to do. Will they take the receiver to replace Randy Moss (who's better in theory than in practice and surely out of the door), or replace an inept quarterback corps that was sacked nearly 13 times as much as their 6 TD passes.

11:16 AM-I wonder why Brady Quinn has been campaigning so much for the first pick in the draft? Is it because he secretly knows he's not worthy and trying to cash in? Is it his competitive nature just wanting to be first? Or it might just be because he's got a bit of an ego.

11:20 AM-No surprise here, the Raiders pick LSU quarterback JaMarcus Russell. Now it's time for one of my favorite moments: the awkward photo-op with the commish. What goes best with a $3,500 tailored suit? A $25 baseball cap and a tacky #1 jersey of the dreadful team that picked him.

11:23 AM-Now the Detroit Lions are on the clock. Will Matt Millen put down his "The NFL Draft: For Dummies" book long enough to pick his fifth wide receiver in six years in the first round? Even though it's sad, I love his ineptitude.

11:30 AM-The Savior for the Detroit Lions franchise is Calvin Johnson...another wide receiver (even though they have no one to throw to him).

11:32 AM-I love when players have their draft entourage. The only people missing are Ari and Turtle.

11:36 AM-Cleveland is now on the clock. A team where many of their first round picks since they came back into the league are either no longer with the team or out of the league.

11:38 AM-If I was a first round draft prospect I would pull a John Elway/Eli Manning and refuse to play if I was picked by the Cleveland Browns. I look terrible in orange and brown.

11:41 AM-The Browns pull a shocker and make the unpopular decision to go with the blue collar lineman Joe Thomas from Wisconsin over the sexy quarterback.

11:43 AM-I love Joe Thomas. He's missing the draft because he's on a fishing trip with his dad in Minnesota. I would've loved to see him take a picture with the commish in camo. But he did let a camera on his fishing boat so they could go to him when he got picked. Sell out.

11:47 AM-Part of me wants Brady Quinn to go to Tampa Bay. Actually, I want that blond sitting next to him to go to Tampa Bay.

11:54 AM-Bucs pick the defensive end from Clemson. I can't argue against a guy who's mama has a mullet.

12:00 PM-I always feel bad for the person who's name goes in this sentence, "And the Arizona Cardinals select..."

12:03 PM-The Cards take Levi Brown, a tackle from Penn State, with the fifth pick. I'm pretty upset that there hasn't been any major action in this draft. Everything seems to be going as planned.

12:10 PM-ESPN's top rated punter is Daniel Sepulveda from Baylor. I have a feeling that the Cards are gonna be doing a lot of punting this year. Hopefully, he's still around when they pick again at 38.

12:17 PM-The Redskins do the unthinkable...they pick a guy who's last name is Landry.

12:18 PM-I wonder how far Brady Quinn will fall. He almost seems like a steal for anyone right now. Pretty much the same thing I think goes for Adrian Peterson.

12:27 PM-I like the Tavaris Jackson for Minnesota they should take Peterson to give him some help.

12:28 PM-I CALLED IT! I CALLED IT! I'M RIGHT! GO ME!

12:31 PM-I have no idea what "a good feel for the game" is. If somebody could explain it to me that would be great.

12:38 PM-Big surprise. The Falcons coached by former Louisville coach Bobby Petrino passes up on his former player Amobi Okoye to grab Jamaal Anderson, a defensive end from Arkansas. I guess I can understand the reasoning behind this. Petrino probably wants a player whose impact will be felt sooner than Okoye. Remember, he's ONLY 19 so he won't hit his prime for around five or six years so they would've had to sign him long term and with things like that you never know.

12:42 PM-I hate this Under Armor commercial with Steve Spurrier. It wouldn't be so bad except for the way he says "click clack".

12:45 PM-This Miami pick is taking way too long. They should've been sprinting up to the front table to grab Brady Quinn, who's definitely an upgrade over Cleo Lemon.

12:52 PM-I just don't get this. Miami just picked Ted Ginn Jr. from Ohio St. They already have their prime wide receiver in Chris Chambers. I just don't understand this. The NFL Draft is so chock full of counter-intuitive logic it's rediculous. But I guess I understand the logic here too, who wants a franchise quarterback anyway?

12:59 PM-The big story now is how far Brady Quinn will fall. The only teams left in the first round that could use a quarterback are Kansas City (depending on if they figure out what they want to do with Trent Green) or Baltimore (Steve McNair can't play forever), but now that I think about it Brady Quinn falling to Chicago is completely possible and very interesting.

1:06 PM-The Texans take Okoye which is surprising because it's actually a good pick made by Houston. Who knew they had it in them?

1:17 PM-I really want USC WR Steve Smith to go to Carolina just so their starting WRs will be Steve Smith and Steve Smith.

1:18 PM-San Francisco takes Patrick Willis from Ole Miss which is a good, solid pick for them. I really see San Francisco as a threat to the hegemony of Seattle in the NFC West, and a big free agent pick-up away from being a playoff contender.

1:28 PM-Marshawn Lynch goes to Buffalo, and I know this kills my brother because he's a Green Bay fan and had his heart set on Lynch. But if I was Lynch I wouldn't like having to go to Buffalo. It's cold.

1:31 PM-SOMEONE MAKE A TRADE PLEASE! I'M DYING OVER HERE!

1:40 PM-The Rams pick a DE Adam Carriker from Nebraska and my fellow colleague is very upset that they passed on the Golden Boy from the Golden Domers, Brady Quinn. But I think it's a solid pick because they needed defense, and I like defense.

1:44 PM-We might have some action here (NFL Draft...feel the excitement!), Carolina switched picks with the J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS. Carolina gets New York's first round, second round, and fifth round picks and giving NY their first rounder and a fifth rounder. Pretty good deal. I love draft day trades. It's the only time of year where numbers this pointless matter.

1:53 PM-Uncle, Uncle Revis! The Jets gave way to much up for that pick in my opinion giving up almost a king's ransom for Darrell Revis, a CB from Pitt. But recent draft history of the Jets is pretty solid so we'll wait and see. I just still think they gave up to much for a player like Revis, but they traded for him which is what I wanted so I guess I can't complain.

1:59 PM-Great pick by the Pittsburgh Steelers, I thought it was gonna be Pusluszny from Penn State but in taking Timmons from FSU they still fill the same need. Also, the fastest pick of the draft so far just goes to show what kind of organization they're running out there in Pittsburgh.

2:13 PM-The Packers take Justin Harrell at DT from Tennessee. This pick makes some sense but I was almost certain that they were going to go with Branch the DT from Michigan. For once, I actually agree with the ESPN draft guys (except Steve Young, the greatest Mormon athlete of all time, was livid) and think that this was a decent pick because the Packer defense was terrible.

2:21 PM-I'm not sure about Brady Quinn's arm strength but the Jags definitely need a strong armed QB to go with their big, strong, and fast WRs.

2:23 PM-There's some great hair on the guys on the ESPN set with Mort and Kiper. Jonathan is loving this right now.

2:24 PM-Denver got a hold of the 17th pick from the Jags for their first, third, and sixth round picks.

2:27 PM-This wasn't really a pressing need for Denver at defensive line because they have a pretty good defense up there in the mountains, but Jarvis Moss is a Florida guy and they're always a little off. I really hate Florida.

2:35 PM-The Cincinnati Bengals take Michigan CB Leon Hall with their pick. The Cincinnati Police Department has been notified.

2:49 PM-The Titans go to Micheal Griffin (Safety from Texas) which I think is an okay pick but I really think that they should have gone with a wide receiver to help out Vince Young since Bennent left. That Madden Curse works in mysterious ways.

2:55 PM-I really think that the NY Giants should get Joe Staley, the OT from Central Michigan. They need some line help especially since Luke Petitgout went to Tampa and they need to protect Eli's blind side. You can never have too many good linemen.

2:58 PM-NY Giants pick Aaron Ross, CB from Texas, which does help out a bad situation in the Giant secondary since Ross won the award for best college defensive back last year.

3:04 PM-The ninth defensive player in a row goes to Jacksonville when they picked Florida safety Reggie Nelson. Not much to say about that. Good pick. Not exciting.

3:16 PM-Wow...somehow Cleveland moved to take Dallas' pick at 22. As soon as that happened everyone and their mother knew that they were going to take Brady Quinn. I don't know what they gave up for that pick but with Quinn and Joe Thomas. Some would say this has been a pretty good first round for Cleveland.

3:22 PM-I'm just really surprised that Cleveland didn't have to give up the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for that trade.

3:24 PM-I just can't get the image of a Suzy Colber with a new haircut. She has tremendous potential here and it's not being realized.

3:26 PM-Kansas City should definitely take a WR, like Bowe or Meachem, with their pick, mostly because in their playoff loss to the Colts, Chief WRs had 0 I repeat 0 catches.

3:33 PM-I CALLED IT! WHOOO! Personally, I love that pick.

3:48 PM-New England takes the safety from Miami (FL) Brandon Merriweather. I was kind of looking for a linebacker or maybe a WR here but it's the Patriots and it's hard to argue with a lot of moves that they make.

3:54 PM-Carolina uses the pick they got from the Jets to pick Jon Beason, a OLB from Miami. Decent pick but BORING.

4:02 PM-Dallas uses some wheeling and dealing to get Philly's first round pick. That's about all I'll say about that one.

4:08 PM-Dallas takes DE Anthony Spencer with the pick they got from Philly. He's a Boilermaker so if I were him I would seriously be worried about Joe Thomas coming to get me.

4:21 PM-The Saints take Robert Meachem the WR from Tennessee which makes sense since they lost Joe Horn and could use another WR with Colsten, but it's hard for me to get excited about New Orleans taking a receiver from Tennessee.

4:34 PM-The Niners use the pick that they got from the Pats to pick C. Mich OT Joe Staley. I love this pick. A former high school sprinter and a mountain of a man that showers in grain alcohol.

4:44 PM-The Ravens select Ben Grubbs, OG from Auburn, is a good fit for them. This kid on the left side with an older but still effective Jonathan Ogden looks like it could be an intimidating force.

4:57 PM-The Chargers, with their sexy new uniforms pick, LSU WR Craig Davis. Not that interesting...fills one of the true holes in the Chargers team, but I really want to see these new Charger uniforms.

5:06 PM-The NFC champion Bears find a lovely little gem at the 31 spot in Greg Olson, TE from Miami. What a lucky grab for the Chicago Bears.

5:11 PM-Mel Kiper just referred to a tight end that runs a 4.5 forty yard dash an athlete. Really Mel? That's the kind of insight ESPN is paying you for? How bout we just assume that if you're in the NFL Draft you're an athlete.

5:19 PM-With the last pick in the longest first round in recorded history the Colts take OSU WR Anthony Gonzalez. He's a receiver that always seemed to be in the right place at the right time. I love this pick because he's replacing Brandon Stoakley who was hurt last year and recently left the team in free agency.

Well, that does it for the first round but this draft of epic proportions has worn me out. Be back next year.

Lak Attack

Virginia Tech

2007-04-16T16:38:00.000-07:00

Today all should count their blessings and supportthe Faculty, Staff, and Students of Virginia Tech and the People of Virginia.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Today Everyone should be a Hokie fan.

Being Serious For A Moment

2007-04-16T12:30:00.000-07:00

The First Amendment of the Constitution reads: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

First off, let me just say that I am not a fan of Don Imus. In fact, I think he's an asshole, and the worst kind of on-air personality. I do not think that what he said was right. But Don Imus should not have been fired. I do not believe that the backlash he received was necessarily for what he said but what others have said.

If you haven't heard by now about a week ago on-air personality Don Imus, when referring to the players on the womens basketball team from Rutgers who finished in 2nd place in their sport, as "nappy headed hos". This was followed by outrage all over the spectrum. At first he was suppost to be punished by a 2 week suspension from his radio show and the television broadcast of his show. Then, because of pressure from numerous political groups, the sponsors of his show pulled out and Imus was promptly fired.

As I stated earlier I think he shouldn't have been fired. First, this raises freedom of speech issues. I can't remember who said it but the quote, "I do not agree with what you say, kind sir, but I will fight to the death your right to say it." Because once you kick someone off of the air for saying something that you don't like it starts a slippery slope. It raises the question of, who's next? or to what end? I don't like Rush Limbaugh so can I get some of my liberal friends together to protest and get him kicked off? Can people who voted for Bush get Stephen Colbert or Jon Stewart kicked off? Sean Hannity?

I've always been a proponent for speech rights. People have always complained about something on TV or radio that has angered them. The thing I always say to people like that is to simply change the channel. You don't like Imus' brand of entertainment? Fine, don't listen to it. It's that easy. Would it make me mad if I heard someone on the radio talk about white people like that? Maybe, but then I would just conceed that this person is a dimwit and doesn't know what they're talking about and I wouldn't go to that person for anything much less their opinion on anything.

I can't stand attention hogs like Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson. Wherever there is a news camera they will surely be there. Who crowned these jokers the representatives of an entire race? From what they were saying about the Duke LAX players to even claiming that the power companies in St. Louis are racist because when tornadoes knocked out the city's power for a good 1-2 weeks black neighborhoods didn't get their power back first. As soon as another issue rises up they will move on to the next one, uneffected by what they just did.

One of the things that has been revealed to me is that Don Imus wasn't necessarily punished for what he said, but that he is merely a casualty in Al Sharpton's/Jesse Jackson's/Bill O'Reilly's/Oprah's War on Rap Music. I hate to sound like a broken record but if you don't like rap music don't listen to it! It just seems stupid to me that you would worry about something that you don't have to put up with and can easily avoid. I can't stand most punk rock (only exception being the Clash 1968-72) but I have no problem avoiding all the "The -" bands out there.

So, people, if someone says something in the media that you don't like, don't worry about it, because there's nothing really to worry about, but there's lots of things to think about.

Lak

Large Lizards

2007-04-02T21:10:00.000-07:00

That was painful

2 for 20 something from the perimeter...who does that?

i hate florida

Hey Billy Packard...Free Throws Obviously Count for something, like well i don't know, helping separate you from the other team. And yes you should have a foul limit, especially if those free throws aren't as important as you say.

Old Bastard

Electric Turbo

Is it football season yet

A Little March Madness May Contribute to Sanity

2007-03-21T10:10:00.000-07:00

This year's NCAA Basketball Tournament has been especially unique. There's a real possibility that all #1 seeds will make the Final Four which has never happened before. A team that went 0-16 in their conference two years ago (Texas A&M) is still alive. Well, I'm going to go through some things about the tournament so far. Let's rock this bitch!

-CBS comes back from break with a Fall Out Boy song. Way to go CBS, welcome to 2006.

-Literally after 15 seconds of one first round game CBS switches to another one. After, I spend the next 10 minutes trying to find the other game and when I did it wasn't in HD. What's the deal CBS? Can't afford those HD cameras in each region?

-Somehow Greg Gumble doesn't bring up during three halftime shows that Kellogg picked Stanford to win. In case you didn't know Stanford was losing by 50 at one point. Gumble was probably to engorged with his sandwich to notice (if a camera adds 10 pounds he must have had 20 on him).

-No player this year has a mustache and I'm disapointed. I don't care if a cop mustache, a porn mustache or an Adam Morrison 'stache that a player grew because he lost a bet, WE NEED IT!

-Danny Ainge sitting next to Kevin Durant's mom in the stands was classic. He had the "Believe Me This is Just a Huge Coincidence" face going. It was like it was an extra feature on the "Blue Chips" DVD.

-If I wanted someone to host my studio show I'd pick James Brown in a heartbeat. But to call a basketball game? Not so much. There's a flow to basketball games that announcers just have to get used to. Years ago NBA fans had to suffer through the Bob Costas/Al Micheals Era, so I guess it's fair that NCAA fans have to get through the JB Era.

-The Big Ten started out so well in the tourney this year. To bad the only team left now is Ohio State and they were a flagrant foul call away from possibly losing that game. Let's face it Illinois was probly the last team in, Purdue was facing an Arizona team in a down season (Indiana was also facing a team in a down season, Gonzaga), Wisconsin should have been a 4 seed at best, and if Marquette's best player wasn't sitting on the bench who's to say Michigan State would have won. Before the tournament I was 50-50 on who was worse, the Big Ten or the Pac-10. I just hope OSU gets knocked out soon so Big Ten fans will just have to watch the Women's Tournament for their defense and fundamentals.

-The Hanes commercial with Micheal Jordan and Kevin Bacon bothers me. What the hell is going on with this commercial? Why them? What do they have in common? Why does it kinda make it seem like they're dating? And why is Jordan slumming in underwear ads with the guy from "Tremors"? Doesn't he have enough money? I'll be honest: this commercial freaks me out.

CBS NCAA ADD

2007-03-15T17:37:00.000-07:00

Hedonism defined is, a devotion (especially a self-indulgent one) to pleasure

And as I lay all day on my parent’s plush couch watching a TV that would be considered a god to all southern Venezuelans, watching every first round game of the NCAA tournament in high definition, meanwhile surfing the web with wireless high speed internet so that I can keep uptotheminute with all 13 of my brackets.

The word Hedonism comes to mind.

As of now I have only had Cinnamon Toast Crunch to eat today, and have tried to limit my consumption of fluids.

Anyway, currently I am watching the latest attempt of a 16 trying to take on a 1. Central Connecticut State’s man zone isn’t quite up to par. And I am praying that VCU (11) will “upset” Duke (6). Duke is obviously not with their A game today, but Duke in the Tourney is like a Wolf with a Deer Leg, Even if the Wolf has a bad leg, it’s still a fucking wolf and can tear your face off If you let it….so make sure you hit the outlet passes.

I would be fully happy to loose every game in my brackets if Duke and Florida lost in the First round…I think I would be a much happier person

I wonder which school will serve as the first 1 seed to get beat by a 16, and I hope the game isn’t won on the foul line or by last-second-57-footer. But by a couple of mid major guards that sink 8 3 pointers apiece, so they finally can move the fuckin line back.

End Note: Did anyone else notice that CBS changed games exactly 13.07 seconds after tip-off of the first game. Quite possibly a new record.

(Knowing full well that my art major girlfriend’s one bracket will do better than all of mine).

Electric Turbo

18-Wheel Nomadic Transport Systems With Injuns

2007-03-02T08:46:00.000-08:00

A couple of days after the last appearance of my favorite schools mascot, (Chief Illiniwek at the University of Illinois), i was driving to work and glanced to my right and saw this staring right at me.

(I'm not sure what i would have done if i could not find this image again. I can't fathom explaining it in detail, the picture is literally worth 1000 words.)

Now i'm not to sure how the indian people take it, but i don't believe this:

is any more offensive.

Things to take in to consideration:

-I'm not sure how the indian people viewed mass freight transport
-This may be a mural of a famous indian princess of mass freight transport
-Are the Indian people really the ones upset or offended by the mascots
-Is it really a bunch of really uber-liberals trying to save the world through the most diluted ways possible?

Why aren't people upset about the:

Bishops - with all the catholic nonsense these days.
Britons - C'mon
Centaurs - although i don't see any half man half horse's running around complaining
Corsairs - I don't even know what this is
Crusaders - Literally means "a warrior who engages in a holy war" there are 23 schools with this moniker. You can bet when the muslim population rises there will be more fallout over this.
Gauchos - anyone?
Grenadiers - borderline if you ask me
Ragin' Cajun's - Spelled correctly
Rebels - Sure because it's 1845
Sooners - aka cheaters

What do you think?

E.T.

Things To Think About

2007-02-28T11:30:00.000-08:00

While sitting at home after deciding to work from home (yea right) and searching for music on MTV i decided write on here to cure my boredom

Anyway, before i start kicking Lak's ass at NCAA Football 2007 i am going to throw a grab bag at ya

1) Welcome to Wiffle ball spring training...it's virtually 2 nice days away from sore elbows and thrown out shoulders...ah spring

2) The Greatest Playoff in sports is upon us...George Mason....thank god for Underdogs....Go Missouri Valley

3)I wanna know what the odds are on Colt Brennen or Graham Harrell going No. 1 overall

E.T.

The Great Debate

2007-02-27T12:52:00.000-08:00

Like great debates of the past--Drew Bledsoe or Rick Mirer, Peyton Manning or Ryan Leaf, Eli Manning or Phillip Rivers, and Vince Young or Matt Leinart this new Brady Quinn or JaMarcus Russell debate is a risky one. As everyone knows the NFL Draft is not an exact science. How players turn out is almost random at best, depending mostly on the right or wrong situations (example: no one thought Ben Rothlisberger would do so well but he was picked by a great team in the Pittsburgh Steelers at the 11 spot because they were devastated by injuries the year before, right place right time).

So the Oakland Raiders have been on the clock pretty much since September. They face this new debate over whether to take Russell or Quinn or do what they should do and trade down.

I'll start with Brady Quinn, who's been the golden boy for the Golden Domers since he signed his letter of intent. He was an average college quarterback at best in the West Coast system of coach Ty Willingham. Then when Charlie Weis introduced his new Pro System, Quinn had a great season breaking many Notre Dame passing records in the process. However, his production worsened in 2006 compared with 2005. Also, when Quinn has played against very athletic defenses with many players heading to the NFL, he's struggled. Against USC, Michigan, and Ohio State he's a combined 2-6 (his wins were against Michigan in 2005 and 2004). In addition to that he's 0-3 in bowl games, with his only decent bowl game against Ohio State where he went 29/45 for 286 yards (most of those were garbage yards at the end of the game) and no touchdowns or picks. So against worthy foes Quinn has been pretty lackluster.

Then there is JaMarcus Russell. It seems like the only quarterbacks LSU has had recently are big strong guys that look like they ate too many crawdads. His production has improved each and every year he has played, but in big games against good, quality defenses he hasn't fared much better than Quinn going a combined 3-5 against teams like Auburn, Florida, and Georgia. He has, though, gone 1-1 in bowl games, including the Tigers bitch-slapping of Quinn's Notre Dame team this past January. And unlike Quinn, Russell has played well in both of his bowl games (against Iowa in 2004 and Notre Dame in 2006).

The Brady-Russell Question is one that will be asked over and over again by coaches and owners in war rooms, and there is no answer. Quinn could either be the next Joe Montana or the next Rick Mirer, and Russell could be the next Daunte Culpepper (Randy Moss Era) or the next Rohan Davey (exactly). But this one thing is for certain, Houston will find out who the best player is, and then they won't pick them.

lak attack

Rapper's Delight (With Christina/Britney Side Note)

2007-02-17T09:09:00.000-08:00

Now don't get me wrong, I am the occassional fan of rap music. In fact, some of it is great, but a lot of it is in actuality terrible music. Most of beats to the songs are ripped off from some place. It also happens to be probably the most egocentric form of music.
I saw the VCast commercial with "Fergalicious" the other day and it made me think how rap is the only form of music where someone can get away with making the chorus to the song their own name. No other brand of music would let you get away with that. Like, you'd never hear John Mayer record a song called "I'm John Mayer ... J-O-H-N John Mayer ... all the girls on the planet are digging me ... I'm so sexy and so handsome and there's plenty to see ... I'm J-O-H-N John Mayer." Wouldn't happen.

Sidenote

I've always been in love with Christina Aguilera, but, hey, did you ever think you'd see the day when Christina Aguilera was much prettier, sexier AND cleaner-looking than Britney Spears? Me neither. Britney won the battle, Christina won the war. Who woulda thunk?

The Art of Asian Pitching: Quick and Efficent

2007-02-14T08:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday i was surfing ESPN.com, which is what i do every day instead of work (which could be detrimental) and came across Tim Kurkjian's article reviewing the Red Sox pitching rotation which as he sees it is:

Daisuke Matsuzaka - The biggest thing to hit America from Japan since the PS2
Josh Beckett - High ERA last season, but a proven winner
Curt Schilling - Still
Jonathan Papelbon - Last Year's Closer
Jon Lester - Cancer is in Remisson
Tim Wakefield - Knuck-yo-mother

With an outside chance of Roger Clemens in the summer

What about the Yanks?

Mike Mussina and Andy Pettitte are the big most recognizable names.

and you have this Asian:

Chien-Ming Wang - Proud graduate of Taipei Ti Wu University and owner of 19 wins and a 3.63 ERA..Can he repeat?

But then there are these guys:

Kei Igawa and Jeff Karstens...who?

So the main question of the most overblown rivalry in all of ' American' sports is, who going to be the better "Asian" pitcher this year Chien-Ming Wang or Daisuke Matsuzaka? (In thinking that the pitcher's team with the better record will win the division, since it's not automatic anymore that the other team will get the wild card, thank you tigers) Those of us that stayed up till 4 am to watch Matsuzaka pitch in the World Baseball Classic know that he's got some nasty stuff, that was helped developed by whacky Japanese Scientists. Wang with 19 wins last season is the early season favorite. But what will make them successful is their ability to adapt day in day out, year in year out to the best hitting on the planet...and couple guys from canada

E.T.

Crappy Bull Shit

2007-02-10T20:59:00.000-08:00

I hate CBS sports

I try to avoid CBS like the plague when it comes to sports...well anything for that matter. I cringed when i came to the realization i was listening to Simm and Nantz last Sunday. They are extremely behind the times, The SB was their first Football game in HD.....c'mon pick it up. CBS is the NHL of TV networks.

Every graphic is ugly, every announcer is overly repetitive and vague, and there is no WOW factor. It makes me feel like i'm at my grandma's house, equipped with doilies and collector spoons.

James Brown is probably the only person on CBS i like, and i'm just being generous. Shannon Sharp, Dan Marino, and Boomer as for them, i feel like they have accomplished less in their pro careers after appearing on CBS.

I'm not going to watch the pro-bowl this year, just like last year and year before. I was thinking about watching it but CBS decided to pick it up, which is fitting because No One Wants to play in the ProBowl, so no one should watch it.

Is it bad that it makes me angry and ruins my night when i remember that March Madness will be broadcast on CBS? probably. I can't wait for CBS to cut out of a game that is in double OT for me to see the tip off of a 1 vs. 16 seed that is 10 miles closer to me in proximity...love it

But as for the rest of you sports buffs, i will keep enduring the Columbia Broadcasting System

E.T.

Sports Anthropology

2007-02-09T10:36:00.000-08:00

For pretty much every decade (except I couldn't think of one for the 1970s) there has always been a sports star that just personifies the decade they were in. This won't be lost on future historians. Fifty or 100 years from now social anthropologists will look at our popular culture to try to understand the zeitgeist of the time. Much in the way that people look at Muhammad Ali to help explain the turbulent 1960s. Here are a few examples:

1)1920s-George Herman "Babe" Ruth--Babe Ruth was the Roaring 20s. When the nation was achieving staggering feats economically and socially, the Babe was doing the same thing on the ballfield. The nation was making money hand over fist and Ruth was smashing home runs the likes of which hadn't been seen before (when Ruth set his record of 60 home runs in a season the player in second had 9, 9!). Eventually, Ruth (and the country) became fat and corrupt until they both reached a point where they just collapsed.

2)1940s-Ted Williams--Teddy Ballgame was perfect for the 40s. The nation was pulling themselves out of the Depression and started to enjoy themselves again, and he provided the show. The prototypical blue collar player played pretty much everyday (even the famous time he played the 2nd leg of a double header when he didn't have to and he was risking his chances at baseball's Triple Crown). He did all this while missing years of his prime to fly fighter planes in WWII and Korea.

3)1980s-Magic Johnson & Larry Bird--The NBA's golden age reflected the prosperity of the nation under the Reagan administration. The Lakers coached by Pat Riley embodied the speed that the country was moving at, while the Celtics was a model of the politics. Bird and the Celtics were a conservative body, while Magic and the Lakers were liberal and tightly controlled.

This brings me to our era. I'm not sure want it'll be called (somehow I see vh1 running a special "I Love the '00s" in about 5 years), but before I've called it the Era of Predictable Disillsionment,a decade in which many long-standing fears about how America works (and what America has come to represent) were gradually -- and then suddenly -- hammered into the collective consciousness of just about everyone, including all the people who hadn't been paying attention to begin with. As these future historians try to explain what was wrong with the world in the early 21st century, I suspect they will use Barry Bonds. Here was a man accomplishing unbelievable things -- things so unbelievable that they literally should not have been believed, even as they were happening. But we did not really believe or disbelieve. We just sort of watched it happen, and then we watched it get out of control, and then we expressed shock without feeling a grain of surprise, and then we tried to figure out how we were supposed to reconcile an alien reality we unconsciously understood all along. Perfect examples of this outside the realm of sports are probably the Enron scandal and possibly the Iraq War.

David Grann's 2002 profile of Bonds in The New York Times Magazine was titled "Baseball Without Metaphor." It ended with a rhetorical query. "But for the moment, as the crowd settled back into its seats, there were no heroes or demons."

lak attack

Cro-Magnon and the Geico Salesman playing Golf

2007-02-07T09:30:00.001-08:00

So here are some (maybe all) of the Phil Simms/Geico Caveman golf skits in order, i only got to see the first one. But it was by far the best thing i saw on tv all day..except for when our sat. decided to change to beauty and the geek for some odd reason.

Publish

Here's the Caveman's Crib

Hunter the Punter

2007-02-05T15:32:00.000-08:00

So...that was exciting in a placid sort of way

Anyway...on the verge of the big Superbowl party i was attending, i decided to be festive and wear a football jersey. No problem i happen to have 3 replica jerseys (sorry i'm not wealthy enough to have the real thing). So my decision is between Future hall of famer Troy Aikman and future hall of famer Emmitt Smith or door number 3 No. 3 from Notre Dame..who i like to think is Joe Montana. But anyway...i settle on ol' No. 3 fro ND.. and decide that i could only wear it if i knew of any players in the Superbowl who played at ND. So i scour ESPN's roster archives and find 3...total... yea...not what they used to be....moving on. So i pick the best player out of the 3 and root for him the entire time...and that leaves everyone wondering why i was cheering every Colts Punt.

Hunter Smith, Punter Indianapolis Colts Notre Dame class of '99

No Worries

Electric Turbo

Thank God For The Halfback Option Pass

2007-02-02T10:06:00.000-08:00

With the big game only a couple of days away, i am still hearing talk about Peyton Manning not being able to win the big game, and as far as i know he can't or at least hasn't yet. But the funny thing is Peyton Manning is the NFL MVP and Rex Grossman is probably bottom 5...but he's 15 and 3. It seems he backed into that record, but if you think about it...Rex Grossman has the better probablity to win the big game...Because Chi town's Big D? No, because of Peyton's Self Destruction? No, Because if Grossman doesn't do it no one from Florida ever will.

Grossman in his 4th season is probably the most successful Florida Quarterback (Post UF)

| G | Comp Att PCT YD Y/A TD INT |
| 24 | 367 675 54.4 4496 6.7 27 26 |

With One team, he's no Mormon (Jim McMahon) but he can sure party like he has 5 wives.

Florida's brightest shining light was by far Danny Wuerffel. Wuerffel's last season at florida he went 12 and 1, he won the Heisman, Maxwell, Camp, O'Brien, and the Johnny Unitas Award. Hell, Peyton Manning went 11 and 2, finished 2nd in Heisman voting, Won the Maxwell and O'Brien. Danny Wuerffel was on pace to be Peyton Manning...but then the NFL happened...

Wuerffel

| G | Comp Att PCT YD Y/A TD INT |
| 23 | 184 350 52.6 2123 6.1 12 22

2 teams, 4 seasons

He's probably a nice guy though.

Other Florida Stars

Steve Spurrier - 1 Team, 10 Seasons

| G | Comp Att PCT YD Y/A TD INT |
| 106 | 597 1151 51.9 6878 6.0 40 60 |

Shane Matthews - 3 Teams, 7 Seasons

| G | Comp Att PCT YD Y/A TD INT |
| 36 | 492 839 58.6 4756 5.7 31 24 |

John Reaves - 4 Teams, 9 Seasons

| G | Comp Att PCT YD Y/A TD INT |
| 51 | 286 616 46.4 3617 5.9 17 34

Jesse Palmer - eeeh

What's the point, he didn't even score on The Bachelor

Just for fun Here is Peyton Manning's Stats...so Far

Manning

| G | Comp Att PCT YD Y/A TD INT
| 144 | 3131 4890 64.0 37586 7.7 275 139

Yea...Rockstar...Johnny Unitas eat your heart out.

Bears By 4

No Worries

Electric Turbo

The Biggest Game of the Year

2007-02-02T09:31:00.000-08:00

I should really pick the Bears.
It seems that the entire free world is picking the Colts to be the victors in Super Bowl XLI, and, well--when it comes to sports prognosticating--there isn't to much benefit to agreeing with the consensus: people who get rich through predicting the future live off the upsets. If I predict that Indy will win Sunday, it won't even matter if I get the score exactly right; I will simply be one of many, many people who had (roughly) the same idea. A clever person would absolutely take Chicago in a blowout.
But I am not clever.
Indy will win, and I don't think it'll be very close. The final score might look reasonable, but the outcome of the game will never really be in question. And this, I suspect, will be the sequence of events:

1)The Colts will jump out to an early lead by scoring on defense. Most likely the result of a play involving Bob Sanders, but part of me really wants it to be Booger McFarland. Putting Indy in an early 7-0 lead.

2)The Bears will not respond with poise. They will pass left when they shouldn't have, they will out think themselves and play against their strengths (which sometimes happens when pro teams have two weeks to prepare, they over-scout themselves and go against what they do best).

3)Indy will score again. Most likely on a play action play where Manning throws a 40 yard bomb where Reggie Wayne burns Peyton's illegitimate brother Ricky, extending Indy's early lead to 14-0.

4)With its back firmly against the wall, Chicago will start to move the pigskin. On the shoulders of Thomas Jones, they will drive down to the Colts 10. But then Sexy Rexy will make a critical mistake; he will miss Mushin Muhammad in the end zone or he will take an unnecessary sack. The Bears will settle for a field goal, making the score 14-3 at the end of one quarter.

5)At this point, the game will be over. If the Colts get a two-touchdown lead early (and I predict they will), the totality of the contest will rest on Chicago's ability to cut that lead in half as soon as possible. If the Colts take an 11-point advantage into the meat of the game, they will just hand the ball to Joseph Addai as much as humanly possible, and throw it to one of their receivers on any 3rd down. Chicago will put up some meaningless numbers late in the night, but the only people who'll care are those who bet on the over/under. Indy wins 34-20, but it will never feel that close.

In other Super Bowl related news, when Peyton Manning gets his MVP and a reporter asks him how it feels I predict he will shock America by saying, "To be honest, kind of itchy."

*Super Bowl Side Notes*

Super Bowl commercials always seem to be one of the most spoken about topic for a good time after the game. Sure, there's always the hilarious beer commercials and the like. But what I have a problem with is all the other commercials for things like cialus, anti-balding remedies, and beef. The NFL must think that all of it's fans are balding, impotent, carnivores.

Super Bowl halftime shows seem to be getting worse and worse every year. No other sport seems to be more confused as to the makeup of its' fanbase. One year it's N'Sync with Britney Spears and Aerosmith(?), then JT and Janet Jackson ruin things for everybody, Paul McCartney for a Super Bowl (seriously?), the Rolling Stones (a great band but they knew everyone wanted to hear "Satisfaction", "Just a Shot Away", and one of their other classic songs, but instead they chose to play songs off of their new album...lame), and now Prince? Prince is alright, but he'll likely play new songs nobody has ever heard over old one's people know. Oh, and they had Gloria Estefan...twice (borderline unforgiveable).

The Super Bowl finally returns to a site worthy of it's excellence. As a football fan, if my team had made the Super Bowl, and I had a chance to see them live and in person then remembered it was in a place like Detroit or New York in the middle of winter? Let's just say I would be less than pleased. For years, I have been in favor of a 4 stadium rotation for the Super Bowl with Miami, San Diego, New Orleans, and Arizona sharing the load. It should only be places where there would be a bachelor party taking place or a season of "The Real World" (I would never say to a friend, "Hey, I know where we could go...Jacksonville!) My only exception to this rotation is the possiblity of Las Vegas. Renovate UNLV's stadium to give it that ability and you're off. People would say the players would be more distracted. More distracted than they are in South Beach? Really? The Super Bowl is no longer a sports event or any other kind except for an event-driven event. The game isn't as important as the fact that the game is happening. That, combined with Las Vegas...it would be a beautiful thing.

Lak Attack

Brand New

2007-02-01T13:34:00.000-08:00

Hey, thanks for stopping by our 3rd Grade Science Project. If you are wondering if it is actually a science project for third graders you might be a little retarded....but hey that's ok, because we don't discriminate. What actually makes us different that your third grade science project is that your dad won't be helping us.

Anyway, we will be writing about various topics, such as sports, politics, women, technology, and just about any other random thing we can cram in here. Basically it's societal observation, but who's counting?

Our goal is to be slightly less entertaining than Moe Sizlack

I'll leave you with the first thing we ever collaborated on, some facts about our mutual buddy Curt

Facts about Curt, supreme leader of the universe and the reason women have vaginas.

1) Every time curt masturbates 30 women come as well.

2) Curt doesn't have pick up lines, or does he need them, he just blinks.

3) Curt doesn't need blankets to keep warm; he has enough freshman girls.

4) Only mentioning Curt's name will make every girl in a 10-mile radius remove her clothing.

5) Curt once won an award for amount of pussy, but it was retract once it was discovered he didn't have any cats.

6) If you are foolish enough to challenge him, Curt will have sex with your girlfriend, mother, sister and any combination of friend’s mothers or sisters that you have before you finish speaking.

7) Curt’s name isn't even Curt, it's King Curtis of all people who walk the earth, but curt is modest.

8) Everything Yoda knows he learned from Curt...except his poor grammar.

9) At Christmas time Curt stands naked upon the roof of the first mini cooper he sees and challenges Zeus to a game of scattergories and he always wins.

10) God and Curt once made a bet for the souls of all mankind, Curt won, he still hasn't decided what to do with all the souls.

11) Curt invented the Mullet.

12) If you don't know where your girlfriend is, she is at Curt's

13) Curt is so secure in his manhood that he wears the color pink without fear and if you make fun of him for it he will fuck your girlfriend and his friends will kick your ass.

14) Curt's Firebird runs on pheromones and broken hearts.

15) Curt can speak 276 different languages including unicorn and he can make them all sounds oh so sexy.

16) God was Curt's 3rd grade science project.

17) Curt once had a threesome with the Virgin Mary and the Tooth Fairy.

18) When a tree falls down in the woods and no one is there to hear it curt hears it.

19) Curt read my history textbook in .0025 seconds.

20) Curt is google and google is Curt.

21) Fool Curt once, shame on you: fool him twice; he will use your spine as dental floss.

22) Everything tastes like chicken cause curt told us so.

23) Curt Invented STD's to knock us down a few pegs.

24) Switzerland maintains its' neutral status mostly to prevent Curt from kicking the entire population's ass.

25) Earthquakes are caused by Curt and Chuck Norris battling underneath the earth's crust.

The Second Coming Of Curt: He has made you come 10 times if you are a female age 18 – 35

1) Curt Plays Laser Tag with John Wilkes Booth and Surhan Surhan every other Saturday

2) Curt has all the number 1 pencils

3) Curt, Thank you for cheerleaders

4) Curt is buried in Grants tomb

5) Curt is currently in 1st place in the AL East

6) Jesus is Curt’s stunt double

7) The movie Fight Club was a documentary of Curt’s life shot in real time (tone down a little)

8) Curt was the original composer of the Super Mario Bros. Soundtrack

9) Then end result of Project Mayham was Curt.

10) Curt is Up, Down, Left, Right, A, B, A, B, Select, Left, Right in Nintendo

11) A Stripper is in Love with Curt

12) A squared + B squared = Curt, Look it up

13) Ashton Kutcher once tried to punk Curt, what followed is what can be called Ashton Kutcher’s career.

14) Curt is the antidote for yellow fever

15) Curt left home without his American Express card

16) Curt Saved Private Ryan

17) Curt has an honorary seat at the UN Council…and that makes china nervous

18) Curt’s penis has a Hemi

19) If Curt was in Iowa, there would be more corn

No Worries

Electric Turbo